Adulthood

In this category, you will find snippets of my adulthood journey.  Adulting is complicated and what better way than to vent about it online.

5 Ethical Things To Do On Canada Day

canada day

The history of Canada and the land of our First Nations is something that is seldomly discussed within our education system.

It is not only our job as parents to educate ourselves and those around us, but we must also advocate for the people who’s land we benefit from.

Task 1: Learn the History

Canada day is actually an extension of the Celebrate Canada Program

Celebrate Canada program includes National Indigenous Peoples Day (June 21),  Saint-Jean-Baptiste Day (June 24), Canadian Multiculturalism Day (June 27) and Canada Day (July 1).

It’s important to recognize and celebrate National Indigenous Peoples Day before celebrating Canada day!

What is National Indigenous Peoples Day?

June 21 is National Indigenous Peoples Day. This is a day for all Canadians to recognize and celebrate the unique heritage, diverse cultures and outstanding contributions of First NationsInuit and Métis peoples. The Canadian Constitution recognizes these three groups as Aboriginal peoples, also known as Indigenous peoples. Although these groups share many similarities, they each have their own distinct heritage, language, cultural practices and spiritual beliefs.

Task 2: Teach your kids!

There is a wealth of resources on Canadian government websites that help parents and teachers inform their children in age-appropriate ways. This one is one of my favorites – Kids’ stop.

Task 3: Amplify the voices of Indigenous communities

Look up forums and articles written by Indigenous advocates and share their voices on your platforms.

Killa Atencio, for example, speaks a lot on a variety of different topics regarding the Aboriginal experience in Canada today. The following is also an insightful article she wrote about cultural appropriation Aboriginal communities face.

Cultural appropriation isn’t about fragile feelings, it’s an exploitative form of colonialism

Killa Atencio

Task 4: CONTRIBUTE

It is only befitting that we give back to the communities that we continuously take from.

Donate to organizations that support Indigenous communities. True North Aid is a great resource that has a compilation of charities that support this cause.

– Killa Atencio

Task 5: ASK

Reach out and ask how you can be part of the healing of the first nation communities. Don’t assume or speak for them. Avoid controlling the narrative. Listen and implement instead.

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#blacklivesmatter

As promised, here is the recording of the town hall meeting we had today.

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Not another fundraiser! How to avoid donor fatigue

I’ve noticed a phenomenon during this time of the year that seems to be relevant to all of us. It’s something called donor fatigue. According to the world wide web, donor fatigue is when people no longer give to charities, although they have donated in the past. ⁣⁣
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Some of the causes include pressure to donate and overstretched budgets.⁣⁣
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Now although this phenomenon seems legitimate, I was thinking of ways we can challenge it by a simple and crucial shift in our mindset. So let us reflect and address some of the mentalities that lead us to feel this way.⁣⁣

how to avoid donor fatigue

“𝘚𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘦𝘭𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦.”⁣⁣


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This translates to what psychologists refer to as diffusion of responsibility. The moment we see others in the same crowd facing the same problem, we will deflect the responsibility away from us. Hence why we keep tapping next or we skip ad, whenever we come across a charitable organization. ⁣⁣
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This is a natural human inclination that we must constantly work on. No one likes to exert effort because we like ease. However, when we act on this inclination continuously, it can result in negative impacts on our environments and communities.

how to avoid donor fatigue: mindset shift

𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐞𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐭: 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬. ⁣⁣

how to avoid donor fatigue: it doesn't affect me

“𝘐𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘢𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘮𝘦.”⁣⁣
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We are less likely to help situations that don’t affect us directly. This is why we are failing our environment. We all see the sea animals being hurt by our waste production, but does that stop us from buying plastic? Most of us would say no. But as Muslims, this is a mentality that we need to fight consistently because we are one body – If one part aches, all of us ache together. ⁣⁣
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𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐞𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐭: It is 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦 𝐭𝐨𝐨.⁣⁣

how to avoid donor fatigue: "I will give when"

“𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯…”⁣⁣


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We all say it right? The problem with this mentality is that it projects ownership of wealth to oneself. If we truly attribute our wealth to Allah, then the moment we are faced with an opportunity to give for His sake, we would do it in a heartbeat. ⁣⁣

We are encouraged to give from WHAT we HAVE now. Not from what we WILL have in the future. The act of giving was always about sacrifice at the present moment. ⁣⁣


𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐞𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐭: 𝐌𝐲 𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐇𝐢𝐦. ⁣⁣𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐰 and 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐰⁣⁣

how to avoid donor fatigue : What difference will my money make?


⁣⁣𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘣𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦?”⁣⁣

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The problem with this mentality is that it portrays giving as a means of others’ gain. We say things like, ‘What difference will $5 make?” The reality is that we were never ‘giving’ for the sake of the charity itself. We are always giving for Allah. And when we give for the sake of Allah, then no amount is ever too little or too high.⁣⁣


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𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐞𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐭: 𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣

how to avoid donor fatigue


If we shape our mentality correctly around the act of giving, then it should prevent us from feeling donor fatigue during this time of the year. And lastly, the most productive mindset regarding the act of giving is to see it as an opportunity that is carefully selected for you. Nothing happens in vain. ⁣⁣
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Abu Musa reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “A time will come to people when a man will go around with gold to give in charity but he will find no one to accept it…”⁣⁣

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5 Stages of Marriage Explained

Marriage in a nutshell

Swipe over to see the rest of the illustrations

The 5 stages of marriage by Liberty Kovacs explains what every couple goes through. The illustrations were done in collaboration with Asbah from https://amuslimmama.com/

Marriage in my eyes is a fine line between selflessness and selfishness.

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What Grief Taught Me

14 ways to cope with grief


Two years ago, I experienced life and death in a short span of time. I’ll share my story another time but for now, I wanted to share the lessons I’ve learned from grief.


Grieving is a unique experience. No one grieves the same way.

Grief isn’t an illness we need to “recover” from.
No one can say anything that can make you feel better, except for the words of God

Judging your feelings or thoughts just makes it worse. Let them be.

The feeling of guilt is only natural. Combat it with acceptance of His decree. It will bring you ease.

It is only human to ask ourselves “why.” This doesn’t mean you are losing faith. Nonetheless, you can seek relief in understanding the verses of Surat al-Kahf. His wisdom is something that our limited knowledge cannot comprehend.


Turn the pain into prayer… It’s literally the only way.

Everything will remind you of death… and I mean everything and it’s normal. We just have to ride with it because It is part of our healing.

Grief is a deep invisible wound. Treat it the same way you’d treat a physical one.

You will see your loved one in everything around you. This can be painful or joyful – accept it either way.

Seek counseling. A good grief counselor will really help you process your feelings and put things into perspective.

Connect with people who experienced grief. Their stories give hope.

Don’t fight that cloud that’s hovering over you. Accept it and let it be. It’ll slowly start to lose its intensity.

You’ll want to isolate ourselves from everything and everyone... this is fine as long as it’s temporary.

Allowing yourself to grieve doesn’t make you less “patient”

The pain will get easier to handle. Life will look bright again. You will smile and laugh again from the depth of your soul.

Finally, let go of that person you were before your loss. You won’t be that person again. However, you can count on being a better and more mindful version of yourself.


Welcome to life after a loss…

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